Cheater, Cheater Pumpkin Eater...

The biggest conflict I have as a healthy eater are my "cheat days". On one hand, I can understand the need for a cheat day so viscerally, it's physical and emotional. It's more than a craving, it's a voice in the back of your head crying out for just one of those foods you used to love. Whining, cajoling, pleading in a little voice that you almost recognize.

On the other hand, those cheat days are the last thing you want to do, even if they're planned. They're a worry that if you cheat once, you'll never go back. You'll have one cheat day that will lead to a cheat week to a cheat month to an I'll eat better tomorrow.

And cheat days aren't even as good as you imagine. Not worth the worry. Pizza tastes like cardboard instead of magic. Sugar turns the roof of your mouth into a raw, sore, angry place.

I don't always like cheat days. But I have them. They're usually associated with awesome memories, too. Birthdays filled with tiramisu and best-friend date nights to see epic movies and first dates.

And I love these memories. Memories where I could care less about what I ate. I don't remember the food, but I do remember the laughter.

And so I have to wonder about cheat days and their purpose in any diet. Are they a necessary evil? Are they a means to a great night? A night without worry--without being "on" and reminding your friends that you are what you eat.

Here's to the cheat day, whatever you make of it.

A Post Brought to You By Broccoli Cheddar Soup

This post is brought to you by the kids behind me eating Broccoli Cheddar Soup in bread bowls. I know that I might be flogged for this thought, but I have never really liked this soup or the concept of cheese soup<, and I think it smells like b.o.

This post, then, is all about what I don't like about my fitness adventure. Wait, what? A post about how there are things I don't like about this journey? Blasphemy.

Though I try to keep this blog filled with over-the-top, unicorns-pooping-rainbows energy and optimism, I want to take a moment to highlight that every journey is filled with positives and negatives. So I do have a few things that I dislike about my weight loss journey, and I want to share those with everyone reading this blog.

I hate being bony. I am not, by any means, thin. I am, however, starting to notice that I can feel the bones underneath my skin, especially when I exercise. Sit-ups are the worst because, where I used to have a lovely cushion to protect my tailbone, I can now feel the ground rubbing against the bone there. My joints are also places that my bones seem to protrude a little extra, elbows feeling uncomfortable as they rest against a counter, knees knocking together.

I hate feeling guilty on rest days. I know, intellectually, that rest days are just as important as my days of physical activity. That does not mean I have to like my rest days. Days off from work at the same time are even worse because I feel like I should just do something active instead of pinning exercises and healthy recipes.

Ugh. Money. I want to attend too many fitness classes and get too many fitness gadgets. I love yoga, group classes, and I would love a personal trainer, plus Nike Fuel Band, cool water bottles, fitness apps. My wants are only limited by technology...and my wallet. I probably would never have lusted after this other really cool water bottle without my love for fitness. Thanks, fitness. You're a real pal.

And that's it. Truly, this adventure has been so amazing and filled with energy and optimism. How can I complain too much about looking great, feeling even better, and getting healthy?

74.5/730

The Vanishing Girl...Returns!

I keep getting yelled at to blog about my progress and the recipes that pop out of my brain. Plus, I have this nifty blog all set up, so I wonder why the two have yet to combine.

This post is just a summary of the last year as a vanishing girl, and the next posts will be both about current events and flashbacks to where I have come from.

I turned twenty-five on Sunday. For those of you keeping track, that’s St. Patrick’s day. In other words, I have the best birthday on the face of the planet. And it just keeps getting better. Not only do I keep getting more privileges (I mean, no more young driver fee when I rent a car—bring it on!), but I keep getting healthier and getting to better know who I am.

In 2012, I lost 60 pounds. Crazy. I have to admit, I absolutely love when people ask me if I’ve lost weight and tell me that they didn’t recognize me because 60 pounds is a huge deal. 60 pounds is an eight-year-old boy with and eating problem. 60 pounds is a lot of milestones and confidence and smoothies and vegetables and miles.

Oh em gee—the miles. I can confidently say that I logged a good 800 miles last year. Walking, running, biking, skipping. When you walk everywhere and your work is a mile away, 800 miles is easy. Add to that the running I did...

I also participated in Run for Your Lives, a zombie-infested 5K/obstacle course. IT WAS AWESOME.

This year, I also participated in my first Whole30 (yes, there will be another). The Whole30 was life-changing and helped me realize that I do not need sugar, that I might actually be a little crazier that I thought, and that I might have a gluten allergy.

I also created some of my favorite recipes of all time while on Whole30. Recipes that used whole food, that tasted phenomenal, and that left me feeling great about what I was consuming. Brilliant.

Then, I fit into my goal dress. I fit into my goal dress. And it looks phenomenal.

From now on, I will continue to fight for my health and make good food and slip up a little because I do love cake. I want to take you guys with me, invade your pockets and your keyboards, and hopefully inspire you with my words and my choices and my imperfections.

Ready?